Nobody ever gets into any relationship anticipating a break-up. Break-ups just happen. It is not as if they happen to any specific type of person or there is anything wrong with the persons who break-up. It is not even a failure, but just an unexpected change in what was once a very loving and passionate relationship.
In the civilized society that we have evolved into, we accept such things, and move on seeking other relationships instead of just dragging our feet in a dead relationship. But then, there is tremendous pain to cope with. In fact, nothing can be as painful mentally as a broken relationship.
Physically nothing may seem wrong, but internally the immune system may take a beating. Therefore, it is necessary to understand how to cope with a break up. First thing is to accept that you are a human being, and be ready to cry. Men often hesitate and hurt internally when break up is imminent.
If they’d just cry a bit, it would give them a lot of relief. Women, of course, have no hesitation in crying. Sharing grief with close family members and friends lightens the pain. Its better not to lean on shoulders of everybody as there might be a few who have not yet gone through such pain, and may not understand how you feel. Such people might think you are losing your sanity.
So they are best avoided. At times though, the break is not yet final. Sometimes, separation for a while helps people think things through and understand where they were going wrong. By giving such space to each other, it is possible to review things without any clutter that normally comes with hurling accusations and diverts the attention from the main issue.
Once this happens, it easier to resume the relationship. While it is good to hope for such an outcome during such a phase, it is also pragmatic to be open to other possibilities. A frequent outcome of being dumped is you not loving yourself enough. Many people start feeling guilty.
But remember, almost everybody goes through it at sometime or the other. So do not get into that self-pity and self-denouncing mode, which only leads to depression, and loneliness. Start thinking what is good about you. Surround yourself with people who appreciate you for your abilities.
Avoid sadness at all costs. Be positive about everything, and you will start feeling positive about yourself as well as life. You should now find time for some of the things that you liked but were not able to do when you were in the relationship. Even other things that you normally like doing must occupy most of your time.
Learning new things, and finding new areas where you can excel is another way to overcome the sadness and loneliness that follows any break up. Similarly, turn to people who are unfortunate. Look at them, and realize how much you have, and how much they do not. Do not expect the healing process to be fast. It is not like any fever bout.
It will take time. In fact, the healing process would have already started almost immediately after you mentally accepted that the relationship is not working, and that you’ve been dumped. Of course, the ultimate test of the extent of healing is when you meet your partner. If you feel no hurt or anger at that point, and yet do not feel the need to resume the relationship, then you have healed completely.